Cherries and Pits

cherries

I have been able to beat the birds to the ripe cherries this year…bit by bit, I’ll have enough for a crisp soon.  I need to go check the tree every other day and keep pickin’.

Wonderful cherries. Time spent removing the pits. Removing myself from the pit!  I am wondering if I should continue with the Rituxan treatments…. as it makes me so tired. From what I’ve read, it’s not really mandatory… it’s simply a precaution.

What a perfect devotional I turned to this morning!!! Dealing with pits:

Self-pity is a slimy, bottomless PIT. Once you fall in, you tend to go deeper and deeper into the mire. As you slide down those slippery walls, you are well on you way to depression, and the darkness is profound. 

Your only hope is to look up and see the Light of My Presence shining down on you. Though the Light looks dim from your perspective, deep in the pit, those rays of hope can reach you at any depth. While you focus on Me in trust, you rise ever so slowly out of the abyss of despair. Finally, you can reach up and grasp My hand. I will pull you out into the Light again. I will gently cleanse you, washing off the clinging mire. I will cover you with My righteousness and walk with you down the path of Life.

Psalm 40:2-3, Psalm 42:5, Psalm 147:11

(from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

I know, I know… being tired is a mild side effect considering what others have to go through. I need to be thankful… and simply accept my slower pace.  (But it does make me crazy. My brain doesn’t slow down. Lots of things that I WANT to do.)

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Serpent in the Garden

The 48  hour delayed fatigue from Monday’s treatment hit me HARD yesterday.  Have you ever been so tired that you felt like crying…but even that seemed to take too much energy?  That was my day. And the worst part of it was that it was a wonderfully COOL day and I could have gotten so much done. And when you feel overtired, negative thoughts creep in and loom large.

But today is better, and I did get out to weed a few areas in the flower gardens. My cat ‘Willow’ was with me.  She’s looks like a princess, but I do believe in her own mind she is a mountain lion!

©72 cats are poetry

She started stalking something under the lilac bush. So I had to check it out, to make sure it wasn’t a fledgling bird. Nope. She was creeping up on a 4′ pine snake! As I approached, she started to bat at it as it slithered away.  I scooped her up saying, “Don’t you be paying attention to those snakes!”  In the house she went.  I went back out and looked him in the eye, and told him to just move on OUT of here. He did. And I finished weeding.

I wish I was so tough on my thoughts.  Those negative things that slither in unannounced.  Unwelcome. They have to be from the enemy. All lies.  “DON’T you be paying them any attention!”

If we can capture our thoughts, and turn them around… peace returns.

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable– if anything is excellent or praiseworthy– think on such things. And the God of peace will be with you.”  Philippians 4:8-9

And remember…. that when there are raindrops in your life…. they can become tomorrow’s flowers.

©rain-flowers

Back in the Saddle

Tomorrow…..

treatment+

… I head back in for an IV treatment.  The maintenance dose which will be once every two months.  Sure was a nice break, where I had weeks to not even think about cancer.  And I pray that it stays subdued.  IF that is God’s will.

Praying for healing (or ANY specific) is such a confusing area that I struggle with.  Because perhaps what we pray for is NOT the best way! God’s plan is perfect, even if we don’t see it that way on this side of heaven. When our prayers don’t seem to be answered (in the way we want them to be), we need to trust.

Prayer is not a vending machine…where we put one in, and get a prize in return.

I heard a fantastic radio program recently that touched on this topic.  I looked it up online, to listen again, and write down these ideas.  Here is how we CAN pray and know that we are praying His will!

IN THIS SITUATION:

*draw them (us/me) near to You

*to see You in a new depth

*conform them to Your image

*build perseverance in our lives

*endure with strength under trials

*surrender to You and honor You

*prepare us for Your plan

*give us new hunger for Your word

I printed out a few copies of this list, and keep it near to remind me that THIS is the way prayers will be received as sweet incense. The focus being on our relationship with Him, instead of what we can get.

This verse used to be a puzzle to me, wondering why praise would be a sacrifice?: 

“Let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.”   Hebrews 13:15

But now… I understand. The sacrifice is our wants, our desires. To give praise no matter what.  Hard stuff!  I need to remind myself constantly, that there is always so much to be thankful for.  And I need to modify my prayers.

 

Thoughts from the hay field (part 2)

(This was originally heading in a different direction, this ‘part 2’…
But I needed to write my heart today…)

©triple field

Good crop.  All packaged in little square bundles, now useful. The harvest. Hard work.

My heart is so heavy when thinking of the world’s HARVEST.  The ripe fields. Waiting in the dark.

“The harvest truly is great, but the laborers are few; therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.  Go your way; behold, I send you out as lambs among wolves.”  Luke 10:2,3

They think we are fools, for accepting the Spirit of God, and following Him. His Word. Christ.

“…No one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12 What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13 This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words.14 The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.”                                                  1 Cor 2:11-14

It brings me to tears. The world needs light. Truth revealed. We all have ONE chance to believe, because one minute after you die… your fate is sealed.

I feel so useless. No impact.

But I can pray. You can pray. For the harvest. For the laborers.

For more to be sent.

For more to be reached in Love.

(resource for further explanation…)